Recently, my brother Al from Florida visited us here in Tucson. We traveled via moto to see our 98 year old dad living in Sun City, AZ.
In men’s work, our initial focus in reclaiming the Deep Masculine consciousness is usually the doorway through the Father Complex. For it is through our father’s imprint that we first learn what masculinity is.
I no longer believe that we ever truly ‘heal’ anything, at least not as a human being in this particular time & place in the universe. The soul enters the body through the wound, and while it is sacred, it is not to be worshipped. It is simply to be worked with, along the pathway to integration & individuation.
In preparing myself for my personal father’s death, the learning has been large. I see my projections, the still unmet and never to be met expectations of the boy inside, I see myself in him in so many ways, usually the parts of me that I do not like. And I have recently suffered the illusion that I could work through my karma with him before he passes.
I do not know about the karma, but I do know that my illusions have been shattered, once again. I saw a human shell that is our father, and its relentless instinct to survive. My brother says that he never was anything but this. I imagined that he might have accrued some grace.
The hard reality is that I simply came through him, not from him. I owe him only a ‘thank you’ for bringing me in. Everything else is soul stuff, that is accrued along the way.
Still, I am grateful to have chosen this doorway, and the lessons that I am learning. My father was the perfect friction that helped me create this light, and the soul work that I do. I am in school … as a student AND a teacher … a fellow traveler on this Soul Journey.