In the US, the divorce rate of 1st marriages is 40-50%, the rate for 2nd is 70-80%, 3rd even worse. Marriage promises so much, yet rarely delivers what we want or expect or hope for.
You are here because your relationship is in trouble.
You BOTH still fall into the old conflicting patterns.
Let me tell you why !!!
The Imprint of Love
The imprint of Love happens in infancy. If the primary caregiver abuses, abandons, criticizes, smothers, whatever … you will attract someone that vibrates in a similar energetic frequency, and you will call it Love. Because the limbic brain has been programmed for this, and like any program, it repeats itself ad infinitum.
Listen to the language of early romance: “You’re the only one for me, I’ve known you all my life, without you I would die.” Imagine an infant suckling at mother’s breast. If it had a language, would it not sound like this? Romantic attraction is the unconscious tendency to be drawn to what is familiar, that which is embedded in the operating system’s ‘love program‘.
Thus, we pick a partner that mimics our parental figures, and we replay the same dysfunctional wound of getting abused, abandoned, criticized, smothered, whatever. And until you reveal this pattern, you will suffer greatly.
Taking a deeper look at the dynamics of your relationship requires lion-hearted courage from both of you. To walk this path of self-discovery means giving up the need to be right, and instead embracing the desire to be close. Your greatest joy and greatest agony come through your most intimate relationships.
Completing your Soul’s Unfinished Business
You may think that you can simply pick someone else. Yes, you could, but you would not be truly attracted to that person. If the old drama does not happen, we get bored. You are drawn together for one profound reason: To heal your soul’s unfinished business, the early childhood wound that YOUR SOUL CHOSE when it entered this life.
The Learnings in Couples Coaching
- Consciously commit to yourself & each other to do this transformative work together
- Become aware of your own triggers
- Stop blaming and take responsibility for your reactions
- Unpack your unconscious Love pattern
- Openly commit to truth & safety
- Practice the language of vulnerability & accountability
- Learn how to resolve conflict by getting to its root causes
- Practice deep truth telling
- Honor the terror & the joy of deep intimacy
- Learn to reveal & honor your shadows
- Renew your relationship with love & trust
- Communicate more openly with fierce honesty & tender vulnerability
- Learn a holistic understanding of the wounding process, projections, healing, integration
- Become true loving partners
Schedule your FREE Couples Coaching Session
As a gift toward the transformation of your relationship, I offer a FREE 60-minute couples coaching session. During this call we’ll examine the issues you would each like to work on, and we’ll assess our alignment in working together. I utilize a video conference platform such as Zoom or FaceTime. To learn more, see How I Work.